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Today is Thursday but Monday was a holiday so it’s practically Wednesday if you really think about it.

Posted by on September 7, 2017
Sorry if I've been less than punctual, but it's been a hectic week what with getting the kids back to school.  (I've got seventeen (17) children in eighteen (18) different schools, so you can only imagine how complicated that is.)  Also, after ten (10) years of bicycle blogging I recently decided I've transcended punctuality and can do whatever whenever, so I take it back and am not sorry at all:

Deal with it.

Speaking of blogging, you know I have two of them now (it's sort of like a stock split), and I daresay that even if you don't give a shit about New York you should still check out today's Bike Forecast post:

Which is all about how the auto industry is creating "Jaywalker 2.0" by rebranding pedestrians as "petextrians."

Given this, I'm now advocating for a similar rebranding of motorists, and so far my favorites are this one:

And this one:

Once I decide I'll engage a PR firm and go from there.

Moving on, as I mentioned some time ago I'm due to receive a wooden bicycle for my incredibly methodical and scientific brand of bike testing:

(I actually really liked that bike and kind of wish I'd kept it.)

Here's the aero pile of timber in question:

Well, as of press time I haven't seen so much as a splinter of the thing, much less been able to throw a leg over it and set those Strava segments on fire (taking care to avoid igniting the frame in the process), so there you go.

But don't worry, because I've watched this YouTube video and I'm pretty sure I can tackle the project myself:

Unfortunately my first attempt at a bike didn't quite come out as planned, but I'm sure you'll agree it shows a lot of promise:

Speaking of the start of school (I was earlier, remember?) I was schlepping my younger one to to the Apple factory for his first season of educational labor assembling iPhones when it occurred to me I'm not sure how much more of this I can take:

(If you're inclined to point out the typo I suggest saving yourself the trouble and punching yourself in the face.)

Hey, I'm not getting any younger, the mighty hills of the Bronx aren't getting any easier, and I'm definitely deep in the red as far as dignity is concerned, so why the hell shouldn't I give myself a little boost?

Yes, it was sort of a jarring and humbling moment when I realized I sort of wanted an ebike--not dissimilar to the melange of excitement and shame I felt when I decided I wanted a folding bike--but fortunately it turns out there is an alternative:

It has a certain quiet and understated dignity, wouldn't you agree?

And yes, he totally said "you're just a couple screws away" from "pure, torpedo-like action."

Heh, heh.

Best of all, you can always upgrade to one of these:

Two words:

Flying Brompton.

Think about it.

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