There once was a Fred from the coast/
Who installed a new dropper post/
At first it was sticky/
But then it went quickly/
And now his poor huevos are toast.
Blogger, the old-timey blogging platform I use because I am an e-retrogrouch, has been down all day. As a result, until pretty much this very moment I've been unable to curate my own blog. Therefore, in the interest of at least providing you with a few words to read before you fork off for the weekend, today's post will be a short one.
You're welcome, and don't blame me. Blame G**gle, who run Blogger, or perhaps dark forces hacked their way into it, who the hell even knows these days.
Not like it's a big deal, because it's not like I don't have a whole other blog for you to read or anything.
Anyway, remember that Montana state senator who was taxing cyclists to stop the spread of zebra mussels?
New section. Section 4. Nonresident invasive species bicycle decal.
1. an invasive species decal must be affixed in a conspicuous place to each bicycle that is brought into and used in montana by a nonresident. A nonresident may not use or give permission for the use of a bicycle the nonresident brought into the state on which an invasive species decal is not affixed.
2. an invasive species decal must be purchased each calendar year for $25 at locations prescribed by the department of fish, wildlife, and parks. The decal is not transferable between bicycles.
3. money collected by payment of fees under this section must be deposited in the invasive species account established in 80-7-1004.
Well now the legistlature is saying it was a joke or something:
During its first hearing Wednesday afternoon before the house Natural Resources Committee, the amendment’s sponsor, Senator Chas Vincent made this admission:
“Just for a little background on that, you know, maybe it was a little bit of an April Fools.”
All else aside, the senate approved it on March fucking 30th, which is a clear violation of global April Fool's protocol.
Not even the French, with their strange poisson d'avril custom, would find this acceptable.
So here's the story:
Here’s what Vincent’s talking about. Several weeks ago, Sen. Sales made national news when he made these remarks about cyclists during testimony about a different cycling-related bill:
“They’re some of the rudest people I’ve ever – I hate to say it, but I’m just going to be bold – they’re some of the most self-centered, rude people navigating on the highways, or on the county roads that I’ve seen. They won’t move over, you can honk at them but they think they own the highway.”
That generated some major blow-back.
Wow, big fucking surprise.
Senator Vincent described the messages sent to Senate President Sales as:
“Some of the most ugly and nasty messages I’ve ever heard left on anybody – legislators – cell phone. He’s got them if you want to listen to them. It’s remarkable, actually."
I don't think it's at all remarkable. By the way, were any of those messages about how he can get fucked to death with a dropper post? Because that's what I would have said.
And that, according to Vincent, was the basis for Sales's amendment that’s again being described by some as "anti-cyclist."
“A lot of us had heard [those messages], so when he stood up to propose an amendment to charge a $25 fee for everybody who doesn’t have a state bike and wants to ride in Montana, as you can imagine it was kind of a comedic relief moment, but the amendment went on," says Vincent. "And then he voted for it. So, it was kind of a fun day.”
What the hell kind of state legislature is this??? They're almost as thin-skinned as our president. This Sales guy really needs to see a doctor about extricating whatever invasive species crawled up his ass.
So now you're up to date, and you can add Montana to the list of bike-unfriendly places to avoid, just under Australia:
Finally, I leave you with this:
I wonder #whatmouthpieceyourunning on those brass instruments.
Ride safe this weekend, and I'll see you back here on Monday...hopefully.
I love you,
--Wildcat Rock Machine