It's easy to come back to New York City from, say, this place and feel sorry for yourself:
The fact is though I've got it pretty good, all things considered. I've got a subway station right around the corner which means I can get anywhere in this great city with a single MetroCard swipe or turnstile hop, and yet I'm also a leisurely spin away from some pretty decent all-terrain bicycle cycling trails:
I guess what I'm saying is that life could be worse.
How could it be worse? Well, for one thing, I could live in Australia.
And being thankful you don't live in Australia is what Canada Day is all about.
Speaking of Canada Day, we have our own version coming up. It's called July 4th, or "Independence Day," and it commemorates the "American Brexit" when our great nation revolted against England and thus bought ourselves a few more decades of slave ownership. But now it's mostly just about getting drunk, blowing shit up, and getting great deals on cars:
The above banner really should be the United States flag at this point.
And as far as this blog goes, July 4th means I'll be gone until Wednesday, July 6th, at which point I will resume regular updates.
So "God" bless "America."
With gasoline and helmets for all.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then you're the best, and if you're wrong you'll see a Ukrainian flashmob.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and see you back here on Wednesday, July 6th.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) Canada Day commemorates:
--Canada's victory over the United States in the Great Maple Syrup Wars of 1846
--The Great Apology, when Canada said sorry to the British and the French for getting in the way of their musket balls during the French and Indian War
--Canada's liberation from British tyranny (apart from their despotic Queen and their depraved spelling of course)
--The joining of the British North American colonies of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and the Province of Canada into a warm and toasty toque for the United States
2) What is this?
--One of those living statues
--How triathletes sleepwalk
3) Australian decency standards require all depictions of cyclists to be helmeted, even if they're cycling somewhere other than Australia.
4) According to the makers of the Cyclotron, the greatest advancement between the advent of the safety bicycle and now has been:
--The gravel bike
--The touring bike
--The recumbent bike
--The fat bike
5) According to "Bicycling," singlespeed mountain bikers are often perceived as being:
--"indolent shop rats"
--"too obtuse to operate a shifter"
6) Which is not a trick the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends to fool your child into wearing a helmet?
--"Whenever you ride your bike, put on your helmet. Plan bicycle outings during which all family members wear their helmets to further reinforce the message. "
--"Praise them; give them special treats or privileges when they wear their helmets without having to be told to."
--"Be consistent. If you allow your children to ride occasionally without their helmets, they won't believe that helmet use really is important. Tell your children they have to find another way to get where they are going if they don't want to use their helmets."
--"Make sure your child sees you publicly criticize other riders for not wearing helmets, and encourage your child to do the same."
7) The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children wear helmets while mowing the lawn at all times.
***Special "Oh, My God! Bicycles! I Can't Believe What I'm Seeing!"--Themed Bonus Video!***