Public Comment: Caltrans to close US101 to bikes in SLO County

Note: Public comment is due by the end of the end of the business day on TUESDAY, February 9, 2016. Sorry for the late notice, but I just received word on this myself.

Caltrans District 5 announced plans to close eight miles of US Highway 101 to bicycles near the Monterey County / San Luis Obispo (SLO) County line during the North Paso Rehab Project. Caltrans invites public input on this closure. The map below shows the construction area in orange.

Caltrans D5 Highway 101 project bicycle closure

This portion of Highway 101 is popular for cyclists touring California. Bicyclists are currently allowed on most of Highway 101 from Bradley to the town of Paso Robles, though they are required to exit at either end of San Miguel. Caltrans offers no suggested detour in their published project material, and any alternate routes in this region are challenging to cyclists with significant added mileage on steep roads.

In your public comment to Caltrans, please point out the Caltrans is obligated to provide a reasonable alternative to bicyclists. Suggested alternatives include:

  • Provide paved, two-way access through Camp Roberts.
  • Allow two-way access on the one-way frontage road between Camp Roberts and San Miguel.

This project from Fall 2016 to Fall 2018 will reconstruct both directions of US 101 and extend its service life. Caltrans will also widen the outside shoulders from eight feet to ten feet. Learn more by reading the North Paso Fact Sheet.

SUBMIT COMMENTS BY TUESDAY, FEB. 9, 2016 to Caltrans Project Manager Amy Donatello, 50 Higuera Street, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401. Call her at 805-549-3014 or email

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No Shoes No Service

Did you know the Eskimos have over 100 clichés for snow?  It's true!  They include words that translate as "fresh snow," "more goddamn snow," and "it's enough with the snow, put a friggin' harpoon in me."

Similarly, we cyclists have a more sophisticated relationship with everybody's favorite throwable form of precipitation.  In particular, we know when the snow's rideable and when it isn't.  If you're a seasoned cyclist, a quick glance out the window is enough to tell you whether you should head out into the whiteness or stay inside and fire up your digi-Fred avatard on Zwift:

Such was the case on Friday when we received a few inches of the sort of fluffy, crunchy, sticky snow that makes for ideal riding.  So I headed onto the Marin Pine Mountain 1 and into the virginal whiteness:

All was quiet save for the odd amateur nature photographer or snow runner, and emerging from beneath the snowless overpasses into the pristine wilderness felt positively Narnian:

The snow was deep and crunchy enough to provide protection for the trail and traction for me, and the temperature was warm enough that there was no ice hiding beneath to make the going treacherous:

After awhile the footprints disappeared and the trail was a blank page upon which I would write Tales of Mountain Fredness with my knobby tires:

By the way, due to its weighty clinginess, ideal riding snow is also ideal carcake snow, and I did take a break from my ride to do some carcake-spotting:

The best carcakes are the "goatee" kind that extend onto the hood:

If you're lucky you get to see one of these goatees make liftoff when the driver hits 40mph, at which point it will fly up in the air and land in an explosion of snow on the vehicle behind it.

If you're unlucky the operator of the vehicle behind it will be you.

After contemplating the carcakes I resumed my trek and crunched my way up one of my secret deer-ridden climbs, affording me a view of the Hudson and the Palisades beyond:

Although all of this probably would have been manageable on a "regular" mountain bike the "plus"-sized Marin was ideal, and at this point the whole "fat-but-not-FAT-fat" thing has pretty much won me over as it really is an ideal "just grab it and do whatever" bike:

(It's NOT a fat bike.)

I suppose I should return it to them but you really can't evaluate a bike properly until you've ridden it for an entire calendar year, and even then you really should keep it for at least another year or two to account for any variables, not to mention annual fluctuations in precipitation due to climate change, etc.

In other words Marin can expect it back by 2020 at the earliest, by which point I'm sure we'll all have moved onto another wheel size.

Meanwhile, the Etixx-QuickStep professional bicycle racing team has been omitted from this year's Tour of Qatar owing to "discipline" problems:

What kind of discipline problems?  Well, apparently it takes them too long to change their shoes before podium ceremonies:

Al-Thani cited a lack of respect for the requirements of live television coverage as the principal reason not to invite Etixx-QuickStep, complaining that the team’s stage-winning riders had delayed too long before reporting for podium ceremonies.

“For the podium, we asked them not to do interviews [immediately after the finish] because we have limited time for the podium, we are live on air. But they take too much time to change their shoes,” 

Oh, silly Al-Thani.  They're not changing their shoes.  They're swapping blood and urine samples to evade the drug testers!

Hey, it takes time to set up a Whizzinator:

As for the women's team, according to Al-Thani, they're just lazy:

Al-Thani said. “At the Ladies Tour of Qatar, they don’t change their shoes, but QuickStep wanted to take a chair, they wanted to change their shoes, lie down and after that do an inteview. We told them for a couple of years not to do it but they still did it.

Plus, they're not even nice to the special hurry-up lady!

“Last year we sent a special lady to hurry them up and they talked to her not in a very nice way and they would wave her off like that. That is not good, you know.

Wow, the nerve of those women, wanting to relax in a chair after racing across the freaking desert.  Frankly I find it shocking that a country with Qatar's impeccable women's rights record wouldn't be more accommodating:

Women’s Rights

Provisions of Law No. 22 of 2006, Qatar’s first codified law to address issues of family and personal status, discriminates against women. Under Article 36, a marriage contract is valid when a woman’s male guardian concludes the contract and two male witnesses are present. Article 57 forbids husbands from hurting their wives physically or morally, but article 58 states that it is a wife’s responsibility to look after the household and to obey her husband. Marital rape is not a crime.

Still, I guess Ettix-QuickStep is lucky they don't get treated like the typical migrant worker over there:

Workers typically pay exorbitant recruitment fees and employers regularly take control of their passports when they arrive in Qatar. Many migrant workers complain that their employers fail to pay their wages on time, if at all. Migrant workers are prohibited from unionizing or engaging in strikes, although they make up 99 percent of the private sector workforce. Many migrant workers are obliged to live in cramped, unsanitary conditions, especially those working without documentation.

Speaking of exploiting workers, Uber is "disrupting" the bike messenger industry by not providing benefits:

Uber does not pay workers' compensation insurance because it classifies its couriers as independent contractors, who are considered to be in business for themselves and are not covered by state and federal labor laws. (For basically all of its New York drivers, Uber pays workers' comp through the Black Car Fund, which was established years ago for the hired-car industry.) Traditional courier companies, by contrast, are required to hire messengers as employees and to pay workers' comp, unemployment insurance and other fees.

Furthermore, by classifying their couriers as contractors, neither Uber nor other on-demand companies have to pay minimum wage—a potential issue for foot messengers, who don't necessarily make enough deliveries in an hour to earn $9 in commissions.

I'm not sure why a company with over a billion in revenue needs to take over a quaint industry like bicycle delivery, but I guess that's how Silicon Valley does sandbagging.

Categories: cycling | Leave a comment

Ride bicycle rickshaws to Super Bowl 50

With some Uber drivers promising to boycott transportation to Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara, and game day parking as far as a mile from Levi’s Stadium, pedicab operators expect to make good cash on Super Bowl Sunday as they transport fans to and from the stadium.

Pedicab coming through!

Bicycle rickshaw operators will converge in the city of Santa Clara from all around the Bay Area Sunday to augment transportation around the stadium. Because not shuttle services will be available, football fans can either walk to the stadium, or ride a pedicab.

During major events at Levi’s Stadium, pedicab operators charge around $40 per mile per passenger. I’m told that patrons can expect around double that price on Super Bowl Sunday.

Enjoy the game! Thank you to Golden Gate Pedicab and Eco City Cycles for help with background. Other transportation resources:

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BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz It’s Snowing Outside Oh My God I Need A Fat Bike!!!

Do you like lights?  Do you like multitools?  Well, have you ever wished you could have both of those things together in one unwieldy object?  Me neither.  Nevertheless, here are some people who want $70,000 in order to sell you just that:

And while I'm not particularly taken with the product, I do give the inventors credit for making what very well may be the greatest entrance in the history of Kickstarter:

Incredibly, they've simultaneously managed to evoke a pair of supervillains welcoming you to their underground lair, and a pair of swingers welcoming you to their key party:

Either way, they're going to erase your memory before you leave:

Thank god for that.

Anyway, the way the combination bike light/multitool works is that you're riding along a path at dusk when you encounter a fellow rider in mechanical distress:

So you stop and offer assistance:

And which point she turns around and HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE'S A ZOMBIE!!!

But she's a friendly zombie, and so you remove your combination bike light/multitool:

And proceed to overhaul her shifter in the dark:

Sure, it's 2016 and your smartphone probably already has a light in it, but Kickstarter isn't about stuff you need, it's about asking for large amounts of money so you can combine random stuff that hasn't been combined yet.

Then, when you get home, you can use it to open a box:

Even though you probably have a million other things in the house you could also use for this purpose, not to mention lights.

Also, you can keep it on the fridge:

Or hang it awkwardly from your wrist:

Or even shower with it:

By the end of the video, it became fairly clear to me that the inventors are indeed supervillains, and the combination bike light/multitool with its freaky eye and alien shape is actually some kind of mind control device:

Meanwhile, speaking of futuristic things you probably don't need, the mayor wants to build a streetcar along the Great Hipster Silk Route:

Mr. de Blasio said on Thursday that he planned to build a new streetcar line along the waterfront from Brooklyn to Queens, a stretch of real estate that now commands stupefying prices but offers almost no public transit options. “Not everybody rides bicycles,” observed Richard Ravitch, the former lieutenant governor.

Of course, streetcars would aid and abet the rampage of gentrification.

Not that more public transit isn't a good thing, but I really wish they'd stop making excuses for people when it comes to riding bikes.  Sure, I realize this is mostly a gift from de Blasio to the real estate developers, but I'd love to hear somebody in an official capacity say, "You people in this part of the city have subways, buses, bike lanes, and a shitload of Citi Bike stations.  How much more do you need?!?  Ride a friggin' bike already!"

Then, instead of lavishing more amenities on the Great Hipster Silk Route, they could build some light rail somewhere people really need it:

But I guess that wouldn't look snazzy enough in the renderings:

And to be fair the city would probably face a lot of opposition from people crying, "THEY'RE COMING TO GENTRIFY US!"

I'm sure by 2035 you'll be able to leave your million-dollar studio apartment in Astoria, check out a Citi Bike, ride it directly onto a streetcar, and ride right off it again in Brooklyn to your brunch in Sunset Park without touching foot to pavement.

I know what you're thinking:  "Yeah, right.  And they'll send a Canadian to the Moon."

Hey, it could happen.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see why cargo bikes are for "woosies."

Thanks very much, ride safe, and ride safely.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Alleged motordoper Femke Van den Driessche's father and brother are currently facing charges for:

--Drug trafficking
--Tax evasion
--Parakeet theft

2) What is this?

--An onboard cooling system
--The Spin Doctor Clean Machine Colon Cleaner from Nashbar*
--Helmet doping
--All of the above

*Enter discount code "IRRIGATEME" at checkout

3) Eddy Merckx rides an ebike.


4) Because they require different doping programs.


5) Why is this cyclist nonplussed?

--He showed up late for the bike polo match now everyone's already gone
--His helmet strap buckle keeps getting caught in his beard
--He's wearing a salad bowl on his head
--All of the above

6) I'm STILL not getting a fat bike.


7) Earn money while you ride by becoming a:

--Food delivery person
--Pedicab driver
--Human billboard

***Special Fred-By-Numbers Bonus Video!***

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Doping Ain’t Easy

There's been lots of arguing in the wake of the mechanical doping scandal, but the one thing almost everyone agrees with is that the term "mechanical doping" is stupid, since it's a motor, not drugs:

(Mechanical doping is also a major problem in oral hygiene.)

I can understand the objection, but personally I'm okay with it.  Nobody complains that "workaholics" aren't addicted to workahol, or that "senioritis" isn't an inflammation of the senior.  We just go ahead and heedlessly stick the suffixes "-aholic" and "-itis" at the end of everything, and you could even go so far as to say that in this regard we're aholicaholics suffering from itisitis.

Therefore I'm fully in favor of using "doping" as a catch-all term for increasing performance by means of additives, and if anything I think we should use it even more liberally:

Speaking of motorholic dopingitis, remember how one pundit said that it was particularly bad because it requires so much collusion?

With a concealed motor, there is very little chance an athlete has “gone rogue” and operated on his or her own, without help. Any professional team mechanic would notice the difference in frame weight, and performance, associated with a motor. The degree of conspiracy would be profound, and defenseless.

Well, that's not necessarily the case, and in fact Femke could have bought her moto-sled as easily as you purchase a Scattante from Nashbar:

It turns out that Femke Van den Driessche’s motorized Wilier cyclocross bike may not have been a marvel of engineering by her team, mechanics or father.

It turns out that online retailer offers the Wilier cyclocross bike already equipped with a pedal assist motor starting at €4,990 or about $5500 USD.

Done, and done:

And here's how the motor works:

Though admittedly she'd have to have made some modifications.  For example, she'd never have gotten away with the pendulous battery pack:

Though I easily would:

And clearly she went for the handlebar button upgrade over the stock under-the-saddle setup:

By the way, until now if you saw an older gentleman riding a carbon Fred sled with a bloated saddle bag while poking at his crotch area, you'd have just assumed he was suffering from prostate problems.

Now he's a potential motodoper.

Or, it could be that his bike is equipped with a Cipollini:

(Via Todd)

I'd be very wary of riding anything that's "Cipollini Equipped," because if you get to close to "Li'l Cipo" then nine months later you could wind up equipped with a Cipollini, Jr.

Or at the very least with a nasty case of some kind of "itis."

Speaking of Cipollini, he called this whole motodoping thing way back in May of last year:

I wouldn't let Cipollini sell me a bicycle or get anywhere near my family members or housepets, but when someone that greasy talks about cheating, I listen.

In other news of ex-pros with questionable ethics, check out Vino's gilded Fred sled:

I bet you could buy a lot of Liège-Bastogne-Lièges with that bike.  At the very least, you could almost certainly use it to buy someone's stake in an app that winds up being worth millions:

A civil servant traded in his stake in the keyboard app SwiftKey in 2008 in exchange for a bike, only to see it grow into a £170m success – and to miss out on a payout that could have been worth £25m.

Yes, nobody is more easily bought then a cyclist.  That's why no bike shop employee in the history of cycling has ever received actual currency.  They all work for bike parts.

At any rate, he calls it "the biggest mistake I ever made:"

The co-founder had reportedly become disillusioned with the long hours and financial insecurity inherent with leading a startup, according to the Times.

On Twitter on Wednesday, Hill-Scott, a University of Reading graduate, described the decision, eight years ago, as “the biggest mistake I ever made”, before setting his account to private following media attention.

As for what kind of bike it was, they don't say, but if it was 2008 then chances are it was one of these:

I bet for awhile he really thought he'd gotten the sweet end of the deal too:

Hey, how was he to know this whole texting thing would catch on?

Lastly, I'm still in possession of the Marin Pine Mountain 1, and coincidentally Xtracycle is now using it to model their Leap cargo attachment:


Choose A Bicycle, Bolt-On An Xtracycle Leap, And Transform Your Favorite Ride Into An Xtracycle.

Rugged, Torsionally-Rigid And Elegant Frame. Patent Pending.

Bomb-Proof Mounting System.

Compatible With Xtracycle Cargo And Family Accessories.

Optimized For Electric Conversion.

Electric conversion?!?  I wish I'd known about this before that fat bike race.
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#waroncars in Indian music video

This video clip from a Telegu language movie features an oblivious scofflaw cyclist wreaking traffic mayhem in Hyderabad, India. Watch and enjoy!

Via Jym, who writes:

=v= That video is from a movie, which you can find on YouTube, _Maryada_Ramanna_. It is in the Telugu language but you can turn on English subtitles.

=v= The story actually starts off, after a wee bit of violence, into something more like _Premium_Rush_. Our hero isn’t the fastest bike messenger in NYC, more like the slowest deliveryman in Hyderabad, and his bike has a speaking role (it’s something of a smartass). His boss tells him he needs to get a car (boo! hiss!) and we get to that wonderful music video.

=v= After that, he meets a lovely woman on a train and it turns into a remake of — I kid you not — _Our_Hospitality_ by Buster Keaton, only with music and dancing. And bikes.

Hooray for Tollywood!

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Ewert Road bike detour for #SB50

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just received word that the airport decided to keep Ewert open for cyclists, though they may have short-term closures. Thank you to San Jose Active Transportation Director John Brazil for making this happen. Jump to the final paragraphs below for important details (because temporary closures might still happen) and background.

Those of you who bike across the northern perimeter of San Jose International Airport might wonder how you can get from the Guadalupe River Trail to Central Expressway now that Ewert Road is closed.

The only detour that’s reasonably close is Trimble Road, across Highway 101. I shot video this morning to show the fun and excitement of this alternate route.

I’m so happy the Super Bowl Host Committee are so concerned about our safety and security.

For those unfamiliar with this area, Ewert Road is closed to motor vehicle traffic but open to those on foot or on bike to provide east-west access across the airport. Here’s video of cycling on this road.

The nearest alternate routes to the north are Trimble Road (shown in the top video) and Montague Expressway (which may be worse and also features an ugly interchange with Highway 101). People can also circle two miles south of the airport to Coleman Avenue (ha ha ha ha!) or Hedding Street (also yuck when going west).

Airport staff characterize this closing as an “inconvenience,” but folks on bikes still need to get to their destination, and these detours are, frankly, unacceptable for a good number of people who customarily ride on Ewert Road.

The airport is owned and operated by the City of San Jose, and the San Jose City Council is the final decision maker on airport matters. They generally approve recommendations of airport staff and the advisory San Jose Airport Commission, however. The next Airport Commission meeting takes place Monday February 29, and it’s probably past time for some cyclists to show up and ask the board to please consider talking with cyclists whenever they make decisions that impact us.

Most of the Airport Commissioners are aviation industry professionals. I don’t expect them to have the least bit of awareness of cyclist concerns, so it’s our job to inform them. I’ve tentatively identified a couple of commissioners that we should contact who may be sympathetic to cyclist concerns. They are:

  • Julia Riera Matsushima. Her bio identifies her as an “urban dweller” who lives in downtown San Jose.
  • Catherine Hendrix is a “senior management analyst” for the Valley Transportation Authority (VTA) and is “passionate about environmental issues.” Catherine’s specific focus is transportation security, so her influence is especially important when it comes to balancing security with public access.
  • Raul Peralez is the city council liaison to the Airport Commission and a strong supporter of cycling in and around downtown San Jose. He’s probably our best bet in getting cyclist access concerns on the Airport Commission agenda.

I’m also going to ask members of the San Jose BPAC to bring this up with council member Peralez and the Airport Commission. Ewert Road is an important link that we can’t afford to lose, even on a short term basis.

Ewert Road is not closed

I noticed the road closure announcement on Monday morning. I immediately notified the Silicon Valley Bicycle Coalition “San Jose Team” and confirmed this was news to them as well as city of San Jose DOT staffers. SJDOT immediately contacted airport staff. San Jose Airport Operations Manager Bob Swenson replied:

The airport, in conjunction with our local Airport Police, did believe in the interest of safety and security during Super Bowl Week it would be best to close this bike route. Starting tomorrow through Sunday we expect to stage 40’ ft. buses and limos in our former Long Term Parking Lot that will use Ewert Rd. to drive to the terminals to pick up their parties arriving to SJC. Additionally, it is possible that our rental car operations may use the former parking lot Sunday afternoon through Tuesday for staging an overflow of rental cars being returned to SJC. Due this unusually high volume of traffic on Ewert Rd. throughout this week that is not normally present, we felt it best to close it off to bike activity.

Airport staff believed this limited traffic on Ewert Road (which generally has zero traffic) would increase danger to cyclists. To reduce the danger, let’s ban all the bikes! This makes perfect sense until you think about it a little and realize we still need to get from point A to B.

Swenson continues:

With that said, due to the difficulty it apparently created for our cycling community there was a decision made about 2 hrs. ago to remove all ‘closure’ signage and reopen the route to cyclists. This is in process and the route is now available.

There is still the outside possibility through the remainder of this week, that Ewert Rd. may need to be closed temporarily certain safety and security reasons if warranted. This could possibly happen between now and next Tuesday but as it stands now, the route is available to cyclists, it is anticipated to remain open, and there are no additional or scheduled closures planned at this time.

I really appreciate that airport staff heard our concerns about this, and made a very quick decision. If you cycle on Ewert Road, please keep in mind that there will now be some cars and buses for the time being, and Ewert is still subject to possible short-term closures.

Categories: Advocacy, san jose | Leave a comment

Sacramento: North American Handmade Bicycle Show coming Real Soon Now

NAHBS 2016

Reminder: The 2016 North American Handmade Bicycle Show takes place February 26 – 28 at the Sacramento Convention Center. I’ll be there either Friday or Saturday (or maybe both days), mostly covering Santa Cruz framebuilders but I’ll check everybody out.

If you like bikes and people associated with bikes, I recommend attending if you can. Advance purchase adult day pass is $22 and worth the price, and I recommend buying online since the line to purchase tickets on the day of typically wraps around the block, especially on Saturday.

Downtown Sacramento is a lovely place to bike around, especially on the weekends. I recommend the visit if you can make it up.

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Folding Onto The Dream

After lumbering about on a fat bike there's no better chaser than riding a tiny one, and so yesterday I got multimodal with the Brompton:

You can keep your Lucas Brunelle videos.  To me, there's there's no more exhilarating form of urban cycling than arriving in a busy railway station at rush hour, unfurling a folding bike, and flitting about like a clown on a unicycle beneath the Empire State Building's gleaming spire:

In fact I'm working on a sick edit called "Premium Fold," and I'll let you know as soon as it drops.

Anyway, as much as I was enjoying the nimble Brompton it seems I can't escape the bloated specter of the fat bike, and here was one in service as a delivery bike:

It's a new world out there I tell you.

Continuing downtown, I neatly circumvented Dr. Douche, who had decided to block the protected bike lane with his BMW:

(Yes, I said "his."  Relax, I don't assume all doctors are men, I just assume all douchebags are.)

As you can see, there's plenty of parking to his right, which means there are two possibilities here:

1) Those spots were all taken when he arrived;

2) He wanted to park ten feet closer to his destination, cyclists be damned.

I'm not sure which is worse.  In the first scenario, it means that until those cars moved he had plugged up the entire protected bike lane.  In the second scenario, it's only defensible if the two seconds he saved were the difference between someone losing and keeping their hearing or sight.  (This is outside the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary.)  Otherwise, if all he was doing was prescribing some pinkeye drops, that's just not cool.

Speaking of vision, awhile back there was some discussion on this blog (I'm too lazy to look up the exact post) about whether or not people who use extremely bright front lights on their bikes are inconsiderate.  I argued that they are not, and that you should feel free to employ a light cannon if you so desire.

However, after passing over the Manhattan Bridge last night I have to admit there is some basis to the argument that maybe people are going a bit crazy with the lumens, because it seemed like every other cyclist coming towards me blazed with the power of a thousand suns as they appeared over the span:

Still, at least when you see a bright front light like that you know they're coming towards you.  What about these psychedelic spoke lights that communicate no information as to your direction at all?

In fact, I'm not even sure that's a bike, and I suspect it might be some sort of alien technology:

I on the other hand was subtly hued in muted earth tones:

And as the sun set the city transformed itself into a galaxy of building lights, traffic signals, and blinkies, and it felt good to be a part of the fold:

Moving on, the Motörgäte scandal continues to ripple across the cycling world and beyond:

(You want a better logo?  You do it.)

And the latest news is that Femke Van den Driessche's father and brother are also facing charges of parakeet theft:

A report on Tuesday says that Van den Driessche’s father, Peter, and brother, Niels, are facing criminal charges for trying to steal two expensive parakeets from the pet store De Gouldamandine in Varsenare. If convicted, they could receive prison sentences of between one and five years, and a fine of up to €3,000.

The store owner, Patricia Inghelbrecht, recognised the two men when she was reading about Van den Driessche’s alleged bike fraud in the newspaper, and immediately linked them to her stolen birds

Who didn't see that one coming?

Of course, as delightfully absurd and utterly ridicule-worthy as this story is, some of the reactions have been a bit disappointing and seem to reveal a bit of a double standard in a sport that has always been rife with cheating.  Consider this opinion piece by Neal Rogers:

As an athletic endeavor, cycling is fairly unique in its union of man and machine. In this scenario, the body is the engine, providing power and control to the vehicle. Maintaining velocity while handling the machine at or above aerobic threshold is the very essence of the sport. (A few other examples include rowing and cross-country skiing.)

Once a motor is introduced into this scenario, it’s no longer a competition between man and machine; the very essence of the sport has been compromised, robbing fans and competitors of their faith, and therefore, their passion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.


Okay, putting a motor in your bike to win a race is inexcusable, but how is it any different with blood doping?  What's the difference between a bike that's been improved with a motor and a rider that's been transformed by banned science?  Not only that, but at least once you pull the motor from the bike, that's it, everything's back to normal.  On the other hand, blood doping continues to improve performance even after the athlete stops, which is why the contrition of all these supposed ex-dopers who come back to the sport rings so false.  They're still benefitting years down the road.

And let's not forget that blood doping has killed people, whereas so far motor doping has only humiliated them.

Once proven guilty, any athlete implicated in this form of cheating must be banned, forever. And because this level of cheating does not occur in a vacuum, this should also apply to any mechanics, management, and support staff involved.

Some may question why punishment for technological fraud should be different than that for using a blood booster, such as EPO, which currently brings a mandatory four-year suspension. While both are cheating, there are differences — in terms of both evidence and execution.

With a concealed motor, there is no questioning sample collection process, or lab protocol; no courtroom arguments between scientists and attorneys.

With a concealed motor, there is very little chance an athlete has “gone rogue” and operated on his or her own, without help. Any professional team mechanic would notice the difference in frame weight, and performance, associated with a motor. The degree of conspiracy would be profound, and defenseless.

With a concealed motor, the relationship between man and machine is indelibly altered. The body is no longer the engine. That line has been crossed

What?  Cheating occurs in a vacuum?  Did he miss all those depositions in the reasoned decision?  Entire networks of riders, team staff, and medical professionals working together to permanently physically alter the performance characteristics of human beings.  In comparison, motor doping is a slightly more calculated version of hanging onto the team car.

Then you've got this guy:

“They have to suspend for life, for me they have to suspend for life,” Merckx told reporters in Doha on Monday on the eve of the Ladies Tour of Qatar. “From what I saw yesterday on the television, [it seemed] it was not the first time. They also showed a cyclo-cross on the Koppenberg [the Koppenberg cross where Van den Driessche finished second] and it was not normal. For me, it’s the worst thing you can do. You might as well go by motorcycle.”

Oh, shut up you old doper.

Actually, that would make a good t-shirt:

Oh, and Merckx rides an ebike now:

Merckx added that he, himself has taken to using a motorised bike in recent years, but only on leisure rides. “I also have an electric bike, but not for racing. It’s for climbing, for my health. But for racing, I would never use something like that. That’s very bad,” he said.

Yeah, but here's the real question:

Is he putting those e-assisted results on Strava?

Anyway, as Stevil Kinevil pointed out in a recent post on "All Hail The Black Market," it's hard to believe there's not some kind of scapegoating going on here:

Anyway as Bama very astutely pointed out regarding the motor- if the U23 folks have it, then you know everyone has it because the kids most certainly don’t have access to the hot shiz first. The sad thing is that the UCI most likely made an example out of Van den Driessche because she was a small but extremely visible fish, simply to send a message to the community at large (and more obvioulsy, professional teams). Popping a pro man at the Giro would be too much of a scandal. Pull the rug out of under a U23 woman? Much less collateral damage.

Sure, eject the 19 year-old kid from the sport forever. Meanwhile, the blood doping generation continues to run it.

How convenient.

And as batshit crazy as cycling is, it seems disingenuous to me to claim it's any more crazy than any other sport:
Oh come on, that's just not fair.  Are you kidding me?  Football?  Boxing???  FIFA?!?  Fucking FIFA for chrissake!  It's not a sports organization, it's a criminal enterprise!

If anything, tiny motors and stolen parakeets are quaint in comparison.
Categories: cycling | Leave a comment

Dial In That Pressure And Ride On Over To Old Man Brooks’s Place!

As promised, here's my fat bike race report, but SURPRISE!, you have to go all the way to The Brooks England Blog to read it:

(Go ahead, click, you know you wanna.)

And no, I'm not getting a fat bike.

See you back here tomorrow,

--Wildcat Rock Machine

(Your's truley, fat and frozen at the Fat and Frozen)
Categories: brooks blog | Leave a comment